Remember the saying from the poem Solitude, by Ella Wheeler Wilcox. The lines are, “Laugh, and the world laughs with you; weep and you weep alone”. The same can be said for complaining. If you are a chronic complainer, you may want to rethink that attribute.
The problem with complaining too much of it becomes less effective over time. Are you really unhappy with every situation you are presented with? It could be a sign that you have other negative situations going on with your life.
I am sure you can think of someone who fits this bill. I know i can – an ex-colleague who complained about everything. It was ok when she was complaining to companies on the phone as they had only been on the end of it once, but for the rest of us around her we found ourselves rolling our eyes as we thought “here we go again”.
You need to choose your battles. If you have several situations that you are unhappy about, which ones do you really want to focus on changing for the better? It will be much easier for you to get your point across if you do limit the frequency of your complaining.
Sometimes complaining can be warranted, but usually, should be done regarding offering up alternatives. Be part of the solution and not part of the problem. If you only offer a complaint, then how is that helping solve the problem? Presenting solutions will show that you want to participate and have a stake in solving the problem. The best approach is to offer up multiple solutions to problems whenever possible. This will get people on your side.
If you are one who complains a lot, try to take a step back and think about others who are chronic complainers as well. How did you react to their constant stream of complaints? Did you think to yourself that the person should try to help solve the problem? If you answered yes to this last question, this is how others are thinking when you complain.
Complainers often feel like they are not being listened to and usually with good reason – those around have heard the complaint so many times they think that they are not important. This will lead to increased frustration and could lead to those complainers alienating themselves from the group. That is never a good situation and will often cause either management to let those people go or for the complainers to take it upon themselves to leave.
Complaining is a habit that can be changed. It is generally considered negative thinking, all things being equal. To stop the complaining habit requires shifting from negative to positive thoughts. People are usually not faulted thinking in a positive manner and no one is going to purposefully avoid those who maintain a positive attitude. If you find you complain a lot and people are avoiding you this may be a great place to look for the reason why.
Leave a Reply